Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Masskansourian
345 S. Northpark Lane is where the Butlers now reside. (South Northpark always makes me chuckle.)
The first few nights here have been better than expected, to my surprise. I thought I would be lonely and sad but instead I've distracted myself with some unpacking and laundry. It's nice that Phil works a minute, yes literally a minute, away from home. He's come home for lunch twice and leaves the house much later for work.
Speaking of laundry...we are proud owners of a Kenmore washer & dryer duo! (An exclamation point IS needed on this.) I have been enslaved to coin-operated laundry for far too long. And those of you reading this know me to let laundry pile up until I am swimming in it. Only then do I go to the laundry mat or ask Bekah if I can bring a load, or five, over. (She always says yes - thanks Bekah!) Phil somehow managed to unload the washer and dryer by himself. The box said it was at least a two-person job but he's not much for reading boxes. This may seem like no big deal but those clunkers are HEAVY. I was beyond impressed. Installing the dryer himself was another story. It's truly amazing what duct tape can fix!
Speaking of Bekah...her kids are too stinking cute! I love them to pieces and was psyched to get to spend quality time with them and Patti this evening. Home group didn't take place tonight due to a meeting of the HG leaders, assistants, and other important people (I know, we're all important people.) Patti, the kids, and I went to the Mall Deli where Audrey out ate all of us. No joke. That adorable chubkins can EAT! I can't wait until she's in Preschool with Patti and she's quoted in a blog; that will be hysterical.
God is incredible. I must say His grace is overwhelming in the best possible sense of the word overwhelming.
The first few nights here have been better than expected, to my surprise. I thought I would be lonely and sad but instead I've distracted myself with some unpacking and laundry. It's nice that Phil works a minute, yes literally a minute, away from home. He's come home for lunch twice and leaves the house much later for work.
Speaking of laundry...we are proud owners of a Kenmore washer & dryer duo! (An exclamation point IS needed on this.) I have been enslaved to coin-operated laundry for far too long. And those of you reading this know me to let laundry pile up until I am swimming in it. Only then do I go to the laundry mat or ask Bekah if I can bring a load, or five, over. (She always says yes - thanks Bekah!) Phil somehow managed to unload the washer and dryer by himself. The box said it was at least a two-person job but he's not much for reading boxes. This may seem like no big deal but those clunkers are HEAVY. I was beyond impressed. Installing the dryer himself was another story. It's truly amazing what duct tape can fix!
Speaking of Bekah...her kids are too stinking cute! I love them to pieces and was psyched to get to spend quality time with them and Patti this evening. Home group didn't take place tonight due to a meeting of the HG leaders, assistants, and other important people (I know, we're all important people.) Patti, the kids, and I went to the Mall Deli where Audrey out ate all of us. No joke. That adorable chubkins can EAT! I can't wait until she's in Preschool with Patti and she's quoted in a blog; that will be hysterical.
God is incredible. I must say His grace is overwhelming in the best possible sense of the word overwhelming.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Plugged in and ready to fall
"I wish you would take my radio to bathe with you....plugged in and ready to fall" - harsh song lyrics I am listening to right now.
I've had those days all too regularly over the last month or two. I'm in a dark place.
Things bothering me:
Moving
Lack of communication
Marriage's ups and DOWNS
Self-centeredness
Looking back instead of forward
I don't want to move. I don't want to talk about it anymore...
I've had those days all too regularly over the last month or two. I'm in a dark place.
Things bothering me:
Moving
Lack of communication
Marriage's ups and DOWNS
Self-centeredness
Looking back instead of forward
I don't want to move. I don't want to talk about it anymore...
Friday, June 5, 2009
When I have no words...there are always photos
Stealing a smootch from Samantha, my adorable niece.
American Chop Suey. Looks very gross but tasted awesome. Trust me.
Doug's book. Very good stuff in here.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
M.I.A Kerri?
I am out of my own loop. I'll get back on track soon enough.
Boston was a BLAST. I miss my niece already but it's so very good to be home with Philly.
Boston was a BLAST. I miss my niece already but it's so very good to be home with Philly.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Rewind in time
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You must be sick of looking at the poop by now. Since I can't think of anything to say, even though LOTS is going on, I will just post some photos from my childhood to make you both laugh and wonder how I was ever that thin.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Earth Hour
At 8:30pm I am shutting off my lights for one hour. You should too in honor of Earth Hour. It's going on all over the world at 8:30pm their (whomever's) time.
Did/would you do it?
Did/would you do it?
Monday, March 23, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Depression Hurts...
But it doesn't have to. Abilify can help.
Last night was Nicole's "send-off" party.
You know what, nevermind, I don't want to talk about it.
Last night was Nicole's "send-off" party.
You know what, nevermind, I don't want to talk about it.
Foil Balling
Scott finally posted a blog on the foil ball blog!
This had to be announced because 1. It's a great blog post and 2. It's been FOREVER.
This had to be announced because 1. It's a great blog post and 2. It's been FOREVER.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Help I need somebody! Not just anybody!
Jake turned eight on February 27th. The boy is EIGHT! He's missing four front teeth and it's simply adorable. The eight-year-old Jake received $25 from his great-grandmother as a birthday gift. It must've been his first time receiving money as a gift because he held that money in his hand and stared at it the whole ride home from Oklahoma last Saturday.
He must've been thinking really hard of what he could get with it.
"Do I have enough money for Wii music?" he asked. He did not.
"Maybe I can go to Walmart and pick something out" he stated.
Later that night, we went as a family to Game Stop where Jake got Wii Music as a birthday present from Phil and I. He used $10 on a Wii driving wheel controller. Not a bad choice I thought. John wasn't feeling well so he and I headed to Walgreens to pick up some medicine while Jake and Phil went to Hastings to see what Jake could get with his remaing birthday bucks.
I was elated with his second purchase. This just proves what kind of musical, and overall, influence we have on the boy. He purchased...wait for it....
The Beatles Help! cd. I was impressed. At eight years old I was too concerned with Barbies to worry about the Beatles. It was a proud moment to say the least.
He must've been thinking really hard of what he could get with it.
"Do I have enough money for Wii music?" he asked. He did not.
"Maybe I can go to Walmart and pick something out" he stated.
Later that night, we went as a family to Game Stop where Jake got Wii Music as a birthday present from Phil and I. He used $10 on a Wii driving wheel controller. Not a bad choice I thought. John wasn't feeling well so he and I headed to Walgreens to pick up some medicine while Jake and Phil went to Hastings to see what Jake could get with his remaing birthday bucks.
I was elated with his second purchase. This just proves what kind of musical, and overall, influence we have on the boy. He purchased...wait for it....
The Beatles Help! cd. I was impressed. At eight years old I was too concerned with Barbies to worry about the Beatles. It was a proud moment to say the least.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Stop that song!
Every now and then a HORRIFIC, yet catchy, song will get stuck in my head for weeks. Not just a few hours or a day but weeks. Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne is a good example.
She's like so whatever
You could do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that's what everyone's talking about!
[Chorus]Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your girlfriend! No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You! I could be your girlfriend
This morning I have that new Taylor Swift song in my head. These songs need to stop. Even when I have a good song in my head I end up singing only one line to the point I am sick of it. It's a sickness.
What are you listening to these days? What song often gets stuck in your noggin?
She's like so whatever
You could do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that's what everyone's talking about!
[Chorus]Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your girlfriend! No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You! I could be your girlfriend
This morning I have that new Taylor Swift song in my head. These songs need to stop. Even when I have a good song in my head I end up singing only one line to the point I am sick of it. It's a sickness.
What are you listening to these days? What song often gets stuck in your noggin?
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Quarter-life Liberation
WARNING: This is heavy. But please do comment.
.
.
.
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The new year is here and I have gone through a quarter-life liberation, if you will. No crisis here. Though, it was extremely difficult before the weights could be lifted.
You know how people want to make things right before they die, when they're in a 12-step program, or after a lift-threatening happening? I am not dying nor am I in alcoholics annonymous but I did have an "incident" or a series of incidents that brought me to what I recently did.
Some people write emails and click SEND while others drop a letter in the mail asking for forgiveness, forgiving people, or just thanking someone for the impact they've had on your life. Since a face-to-face encounter would entail a 1,500+ mile drive, I dove head first into the dreaded, then heart-breaking conversations. Voices from my past and mine trembled like babies starting to walk.
The first call lasted just five minutes but it was an eleven year and five minute converation I never wanted to have. That was supposed to be the conversation where I forgave...yet I was the one doing all of the apologizing. It was bizarre, too-few tears were shed, and one too many an awkward silence took place. I revealed things I wish never happened. Things I had little-to-no control over yet I continued to apologize to the confused voice on the other end. I wasn't apologizing for what took place all those years ago but for the ugly truth that I was confessing. She had no control over the situation nor did she have a clue. All she kept saying was "I wish you'd told me years ago. I never would have married him." That was the hardest call I ever had to make but I have no regrets. Two days later she told me they're divorcing. He confessed.
Having zero sense of rhyme or reason I made call number two just minutes after hanging up from my old foster mom (call number one.) This conversation ripped my heart out of my chest, stomped on it a few times and then threw it back into my body. This was the you-changed-my-life call that turned into something completely different. While I repeatedly told Patti she is the woman that shaped me into the person I am today she continuously thanked me and said our relationship never be the same as it once was. She's the best mom I ever had, ever will. Saying "I love you" and hearing "That's nice" back will do something to you no foster dad can ever do.
She gave me advice at the end of the conversation which let me know she loves me in her own way. I have to let go of the fairy-tale-like past and accept our relationship for what it now is; distant.
Company came over in the middle of call number two. Thank God for friends who will sit in your living room for twenty minutes not knowing where you are. And thank God for moments when you can come downstairs,all red-faced and puffy, and receive a hug, they pray with you, and share hot cocoa in your kitchen like nothing ever happened YET like they know EVERYTHING that happened without having to say a word.
If Pop Dan never spoke about his relative passing away and not forgiving those and asking for forgiveness before you die....
If I hadn't watched the most heart-wrenching movie about a 28-year-old man that was killed when his life seemed to have just began and ended too soon....
If I hadn't been diagnosed with a brain aneurysm and realizing how precious my life is....
If I'd never found Jesus and continue to become saved day after day....
I wouldn't have made those calls. I wouldn't be writing this blog. I wouldn't move closer to the person God wants be me to be. I am so blessed and a burden has been lifted forever because He died for our sins.
.
.
.
.
The new year is here and I have gone through a quarter-life liberation, if you will. No crisis here. Though, it was extremely difficult before the weights could be lifted.
You know how people want to make things right before they die, when they're in a 12-step program, or after a lift-threatening happening? I am not dying nor am I in alcoholics annonymous but I did have an "incident" or a series of incidents that brought me to what I recently did.
Some people write emails and click SEND while others drop a letter in the mail asking for forgiveness, forgiving people, or just thanking someone for the impact they've had on your life. Since a face-to-face encounter would entail a 1,500+ mile drive, I dove head first into the dreaded, then heart-breaking conversations. Voices from my past and mine trembled like babies starting to walk.
The first call lasted just five minutes but it was an eleven year and five minute converation I never wanted to have. That was supposed to be the conversation where I forgave...yet I was the one doing all of the apologizing. It was bizarre, too-few tears were shed, and one too many an awkward silence took place. I revealed things I wish never happened. Things I had little-to-no control over yet I continued to apologize to the confused voice on the other end. I wasn't apologizing for what took place all those years ago but for the ugly truth that I was confessing. She had no control over the situation nor did she have a clue. All she kept saying was "I wish you'd told me years ago. I never would have married him." That was the hardest call I ever had to make but I have no regrets. Two days later she told me they're divorcing. He confessed.
Having zero sense of rhyme or reason I made call number two just minutes after hanging up from my old foster mom (call number one.) This conversation ripped my heart out of my chest, stomped on it a few times and then threw it back into my body. This was the you-changed-my-life call that turned into something completely different. While I repeatedly told Patti she is the woman that shaped me into the person I am today she continuously thanked me and said our relationship never be the same as it once was. She's the best mom I ever had, ever will. Saying "I love you" and hearing "That's nice" back will do something to you no foster dad can ever do.
She gave me advice at the end of the conversation which let me know she loves me in her own way. I have to let go of the fairy-tale-like past and accept our relationship for what it now is; distant.
Company came over in the middle of call number two. Thank God for friends who will sit in your living room for twenty minutes not knowing where you are. And thank God for moments when you can come downstairs,all red-faced and puffy, and receive a hug, they pray with you, and share hot cocoa in your kitchen like nothing ever happened YET like they know EVERYTHING that happened without having to say a word.
If Pop Dan never spoke about his relative passing away and not forgiving those and asking for forgiveness before you die....
If I hadn't watched the most heart-wrenching movie about a 28-year-old man that was killed when his life seemed to have just began and ended too soon....
If I hadn't been diagnosed with a brain aneurysm and realizing how precious my life is....
If I'd never found Jesus and continue to become saved day after day....
I wouldn't have made those calls. I wouldn't be writing this blog. I wouldn't move closer to the person God wants be me to be. I am so blessed and a burden has been lifted forever because He died for our sins.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
It's Christmastime in the ...country!
I sure do enjoy Christmas. I started shopping November 1st and, while I say I'm done, I need to pick up a few last-minute items. I wrapped the lot of the gifts last night which now makes the tree seem complete. Though it's not about gifts, garland, glitter or gold...I do love Christmas. [I had to squeeze that line in there since it didn't make it into my Poel poem.] Speaking of The First Poel Remasterd; it was a hit! Everyone I invited loved it that I know of and wants to know when the next performance will be. I told them something might be taking place around Easter. I even got a "Man, if I'd come Friday night I definitely would have told a lot of people to go Saturday night because it was that good." I guess it wasn't what people were expecting but I'm psyched it was a hit.
Christmas is in FIVE days. Christmas Eve, when we tend to celebrate it, is in FOUR days. I convinced Glenda to do stockings this year since on Christmas morning no one has anything to open but the boys "Santa" gifts. I love stockings. I mean, I REALLY do love them. I'm still that little kid trapped in this grown body who gets a little sick to my stomach the night before Christmas because I get anxious and excited, and just love waking up Christmas morning so much.
Oh, and for this year and years to come, I DO NOT say "Happy Holidays" (unless the person clearly appears Jewish) I say MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Merry Christmas to you!
KLB
Christmas is in FIVE days. Christmas Eve, when we tend to celebrate it, is in FOUR days. I convinced Glenda to do stockings this year since on Christmas morning no one has anything to open but the boys "Santa" gifts. I love stockings. I mean, I REALLY do love them. I'm still that little kid trapped in this grown body who gets a little sick to my stomach the night before Christmas because I get anxious and excited, and just love waking up Christmas morning so much.
Oh, and for this year and years to come, I DO NOT say "Happy Holidays" (unless the person clearly appears Jewish) I say MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Merry Christmas to you!
KLB
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