At 8:30pm I am shutting off my lights for one hour. You should too in honor of Earth Hour. It's going on all over the world at 8:30pm their (whomever's) time.
Did/would you do it?
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Depression Hurts...
But it doesn't have to. Abilify can help.
Last night was Nicole's "send-off" party.
You know what, nevermind, I don't want to talk about it.
Last night was Nicole's "send-off" party.
You know what, nevermind, I don't want to talk about it.
Foil Balling
Scott finally posted a blog on the foil ball blog!
This had to be announced because 1. It's a great blog post and 2. It's been FOREVER.
This had to be announced because 1. It's a great blog post and 2. It's been FOREVER.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Help I need somebody! Not just anybody!
Jake turned eight on February 27th. The boy is EIGHT! He's missing four front teeth and it's simply adorable. The eight-year-old Jake received $25 from his great-grandmother as a birthday gift. It must've been his first time receiving money as a gift because he held that money in his hand and stared at it the whole ride home from Oklahoma last Saturday.
He must've been thinking really hard of what he could get with it.
"Do I have enough money for Wii music?" he asked. He did not.
"Maybe I can go to Walmart and pick something out" he stated.
Later that night, we went as a family to Game Stop where Jake got Wii Music as a birthday present from Phil and I. He used $10 on a Wii driving wheel controller. Not a bad choice I thought. John wasn't feeling well so he and I headed to Walgreens to pick up some medicine while Jake and Phil went to Hastings to see what Jake could get with his remaing birthday bucks.
I was elated with his second purchase. This just proves what kind of musical, and overall, influence we have on the boy. He purchased...wait for it....
The Beatles Help! cd. I was impressed. At eight years old I was too concerned with Barbies to worry about the Beatles. It was a proud moment to say the least.
He must've been thinking really hard of what he could get with it.
"Do I have enough money for Wii music?" he asked. He did not.
"Maybe I can go to Walmart and pick something out" he stated.
Later that night, we went as a family to Game Stop where Jake got Wii Music as a birthday present from Phil and I. He used $10 on a Wii driving wheel controller. Not a bad choice I thought. John wasn't feeling well so he and I headed to Walgreens to pick up some medicine while Jake and Phil went to Hastings to see what Jake could get with his remaing birthday bucks.
I was elated with his second purchase. This just proves what kind of musical, and overall, influence we have on the boy. He purchased...wait for it....
The Beatles Help! cd. I was impressed. At eight years old I was too concerned with Barbies to worry about the Beatles. It was a proud moment to say the least.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Stop that song!
Every now and then a HORRIFIC, yet catchy, song will get stuck in my head for weeks. Not just a few hours or a day but weeks. Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne is a good example.
She's like so whatever
You could do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that's what everyone's talking about!
[Chorus]Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your girlfriend! No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You! I could be your girlfriend
This morning I have that new Taylor Swift song in my head. These songs need to stop. Even when I have a good song in my head I end up singing only one line to the point I am sick of it. It's a sickness.
What are you listening to these days? What song often gets stuck in your noggin?
She's like so whatever
You could do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that's what everyone's talking about!
[Chorus]Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your girlfriend! No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You! I could be your girlfriend
This morning I have that new Taylor Swift song in my head. These songs need to stop. Even when I have a good song in my head I end up singing only one line to the point I am sick of it. It's a sickness.
What are you listening to these days? What song often gets stuck in your noggin?
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Quarter-life Liberation
WARNING: This is heavy. But please do comment.
.
.
.
.
The new year is here and I have gone through a quarter-life liberation, if you will. No crisis here. Though, it was extremely difficult before the weights could be lifted.
You know how people want to make things right before they die, when they're in a 12-step program, or after a lift-threatening happening? I am not dying nor am I in alcoholics annonymous but I did have an "incident" or a series of incidents that brought me to what I recently did.
Some people write emails and click SEND while others drop a letter in the mail asking for forgiveness, forgiving people, or just thanking someone for the impact they've had on your life. Since a face-to-face encounter would entail a 1,500+ mile drive, I dove head first into the dreaded, then heart-breaking conversations. Voices from my past and mine trembled like babies starting to walk.
The first call lasted just five minutes but it was an eleven year and five minute converation I never wanted to have. That was supposed to be the conversation where I forgave...yet I was the one doing all of the apologizing. It was bizarre, too-few tears were shed, and one too many an awkward silence took place. I revealed things I wish never happened. Things I had little-to-no control over yet I continued to apologize to the confused voice on the other end. I wasn't apologizing for what took place all those years ago but for the ugly truth that I was confessing. She had no control over the situation nor did she have a clue. All she kept saying was "I wish you'd told me years ago. I never would have married him." That was the hardest call I ever had to make but I have no regrets. Two days later she told me they're divorcing. He confessed.
Having zero sense of rhyme or reason I made call number two just minutes after hanging up from my old foster mom (call number one.) This conversation ripped my heart out of my chest, stomped on it a few times and then threw it back into my body. This was the you-changed-my-life call that turned into something completely different. While I repeatedly told Patti she is the woman that shaped me into the person I am today she continuously thanked me and said our relationship never be the same as it once was. She's the best mom I ever had, ever will. Saying "I love you" and hearing "That's nice" back will do something to you no foster dad can ever do.
She gave me advice at the end of the conversation which let me know she loves me in her own way. I have to let go of the fairy-tale-like past and accept our relationship for what it now is; distant.
Company came over in the middle of call number two. Thank God for friends who will sit in your living room for twenty minutes not knowing where you are. And thank God for moments when you can come downstairs,all red-faced and puffy, and receive a hug, they pray with you, and share hot cocoa in your kitchen like nothing ever happened YET like they know EVERYTHING that happened without having to say a word.
If Pop Dan never spoke about his relative passing away and not forgiving those and asking for forgiveness before you die....
If I hadn't watched the most heart-wrenching movie about a 28-year-old man that was killed when his life seemed to have just began and ended too soon....
If I hadn't been diagnosed with a brain aneurysm and realizing how precious my life is....
If I'd never found Jesus and continue to become saved day after day....
I wouldn't have made those calls. I wouldn't be writing this blog. I wouldn't move closer to the person God wants be me to be. I am so blessed and a burden has been lifted forever because He died for our sins.
.
.
.
.
The new year is here and I have gone through a quarter-life liberation, if you will. No crisis here. Though, it was extremely difficult before the weights could be lifted.
You know how people want to make things right before they die, when they're in a 12-step program, or after a lift-threatening happening? I am not dying nor am I in alcoholics annonymous but I did have an "incident" or a series of incidents that brought me to what I recently did.
Some people write emails and click SEND while others drop a letter in the mail asking for forgiveness, forgiving people, or just thanking someone for the impact they've had on your life. Since a face-to-face encounter would entail a 1,500+ mile drive, I dove head first into the dreaded, then heart-breaking conversations. Voices from my past and mine trembled like babies starting to walk.
The first call lasted just five minutes but it was an eleven year and five minute converation I never wanted to have. That was supposed to be the conversation where I forgave...yet I was the one doing all of the apologizing. It was bizarre, too-few tears were shed, and one too many an awkward silence took place. I revealed things I wish never happened. Things I had little-to-no control over yet I continued to apologize to the confused voice on the other end. I wasn't apologizing for what took place all those years ago but for the ugly truth that I was confessing. She had no control over the situation nor did she have a clue. All she kept saying was "I wish you'd told me years ago. I never would have married him." That was the hardest call I ever had to make but I have no regrets. Two days later she told me they're divorcing. He confessed.
Having zero sense of rhyme or reason I made call number two just minutes after hanging up from my old foster mom (call number one.) This conversation ripped my heart out of my chest, stomped on it a few times and then threw it back into my body. This was the you-changed-my-life call that turned into something completely different. While I repeatedly told Patti she is the woman that shaped me into the person I am today she continuously thanked me and said our relationship never be the same as it once was. She's the best mom I ever had, ever will. Saying "I love you" and hearing "That's nice" back will do something to you no foster dad can ever do.
She gave me advice at the end of the conversation which let me know she loves me in her own way. I have to let go of the fairy-tale-like past and accept our relationship for what it now is; distant.
Company came over in the middle of call number two. Thank God for friends who will sit in your living room for twenty minutes not knowing where you are. And thank God for moments when you can come downstairs,all red-faced and puffy, and receive a hug, they pray with you, and share hot cocoa in your kitchen like nothing ever happened YET like they know EVERYTHING that happened without having to say a word.
If Pop Dan never spoke about his relative passing away and not forgiving those and asking for forgiveness before you die....
If I hadn't watched the most heart-wrenching movie about a 28-year-old man that was killed when his life seemed to have just began and ended too soon....
If I hadn't been diagnosed with a brain aneurysm and realizing how precious my life is....
If I'd never found Jesus and continue to become saved day after day....
I wouldn't have made those calls. I wouldn't be writing this blog. I wouldn't move closer to the person God wants be me to be. I am so blessed and a burden has been lifted forever because He died for our sins.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
It's Christmastime in the ...country!
I sure do enjoy Christmas. I started shopping November 1st and, while I say I'm done, I need to pick up a few last-minute items. I wrapped the lot of the gifts last night which now makes the tree seem complete. Though it's not about gifts, garland, glitter or gold...I do love Christmas. [I had to squeeze that line in there since it didn't make it into my Poel poem.] Speaking of The First Poel Remasterd; it was a hit! Everyone I invited loved it that I know of and wants to know when the next performance will be. I told them something might be taking place around Easter. I even got a "Man, if I'd come Friday night I definitely would have told a lot of people to go Saturday night because it was that good." I guess it wasn't what people were expecting but I'm psyched it was a hit.
Christmas is in FIVE days. Christmas Eve, when we tend to celebrate it, is in FOUR days. I convinced Glenda to do stockings this year since on Christmas morning no one has anything to open but the boys "Santa" gifts. I love stockings. I mean, I REALLY do love them. I'm still that little kid trapped in this grown body who gets a little sick to my stomach the night before Christmas because I get anxious and excited, and just love waking up Christmas morning so much.
Oh, and for this year and years to come, I DO NOT say "Happy Holidays" (unless the person clearly appears Jewish) I say MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Merry Christmas to you!
KLB
Christmas is in FIVE days. Christmas Eve, when we tend to celebrate it, is in FOUR days. I convinced Glenda to do stockings this year since on Christmas morning no one has anything to open but the boys "Santa" gifts. I love stockings. I mean, I REALLY do love them. I'm still that little kid trapped in this grown body who gets a little sick to my stomach the night before Christmas because I get anxious and excited, and just love waking up Christmas morning so much.
Oh, and for this year and years to come, I DO NOT say "Happy Holidays" (unless the person clearly appears Jewish) I say MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Merry Christmas to you!
KLB
Friday, October 17, 2008
Coming Up on One Year
It's hard to believe Phil and I have been married two weeks shy of a year. This time last year I was busy, busy, busy with all things wedding-related. I'll post a few photos to relive November 3, 2007.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
My Fall Conference Notes
The fall conference was truly amazing.
Wednesday 9/10/08 - Doug Kreighbaum
You wouldn't pair yourself with the people God pairs you with.
Eph 3:8-11 - God's grace
John 3:30 - He must increase and I must decrease
Luke 1:35-39 - Your destiny bears witness
Christian's sharpen each others graces and motivate one another "Iron sharpens iron"
Work consistantly to keep anything out of the way that will separate you from God
God is trying to maintain the integrity of the spirit - 44% is about how to get along, while 2-3% is about how to move in the gifts of the spirit
You will not survive on your own. God did not design us to be alone.
God joins husband and wives. Don't let "stuff" get between you.
Thursday 9/11/08 - Doug Kreighbaum
God's house isn't dead because God isn't dead.
Mark 12:28-31 - Love God, love each other
We're trying to get back to what is timeless
We're not looking for something, we're looking for someone (Him)
"I encourage you to read the letters of Revelation & The Gospel of John" - Doug
Unity = Father, Spirit, Son (ONE)
Jesus NEVER sent people out one-by-one. The plurality works together like the God head.
One heart, one soul. We want to be a family on a mission.
Friday 9/12/08 - Tom Bedford
No one wants to be alone. We're wired to want to be in a family.
The glory of the father, the brilliance of the weight of God is what a family is.
When we violate family values we touch something God's weightyness cannot touch.
At the tree of Good + Evil satan gave Adam and Eve the OPTION of following God.
You cannot bring evil, impurities and ungodliness into the family.
Humans cannot contribute to the glory of God, but, we can reveal the essence of His glory through our family.
When you come to get saved you're coming to join a family. Salvation, apart from family, is not true salvation.
Don't bring people to Sunday meetings before bringing them to your home first. Let them see the glory of God through family.
Anyone can be a prophet.
Family is the recipe for glory (under God.) American churches think it's the individual. (OUCH)
Point: The glory of God comes by gift or body.
Eph 2:19 - you're the foundation of christ
The family will be strong in years to come. "I'd much rather be a father than a minister" - Tom
PRAY: "Make us and mold us into the family you want us to be."
I have to say some hard things because I don't want to loose you (like you would with your children, God must do this with us, his children)
The content of preaching is the Bible - not just ideas.
How you see family will eclipse your gift in ministry.
Whenever a gifted leader is around you, it's going to be SOMETHING (i.e., gang or Godly)
Big Wheels & Boards are not what churches are about. Father's serve families.
Wednesday 9/10/08 - Doug Kreighbaum
You wouldn't pair yourself with the people God pairs you with.
Eph 3:8-11 - God's grace
John 3:30 - He must increase and I must decrease
Luke 1:35-39 - Your destiny bears witness
Christian's sharpen each others graces and motivate one another "Iron sharpens iron"
Work consistantly to keep anything out of the way that will separate you from God
God is trying to maintain the integrity of the spirit - 44% is about how to get along, while 2-3% is about how to move in the gifts of the spirit
You will not survive on your own. God did not design us to be alone.
God joins husband and wives. Don't let "stuff" get between you.
Thursday 9/11/08 - Doug Kreighbaum
God's house isn't dead because God isn't dead.
Mark 12:28-31 - Love God, love each other
We're trying to get back to what is timeless
We're not looking for something, we're looking for someone (Him)
"I encourage you to read the letters of Revelation & The Gospel of John" - Doug
Unity = Father, Spirit, Son (ONE)
Jesus NEVER sent people out one-by-one. The plurality works together like the God head.
One heart, one soul. We want to be a family on a mission.
Friday 9/12/08 - Tom Bedford
No one wants to be alone. We're wired to want to be in a family.
The glory of the father, the brilliance of the weight of God is what a family is.
When we violate family values we touch something God's weightyness cannot touch.
At the tree of Good + Evil satan gave Adam and Eve the OPTION of following God.
You cannot bring evil, impurities and ungodliness into the family.
Humans cannot contribute to the glory of God, but, we can reveal the essence of His glory through our family.
When you come to get saved you're coming to join a family. Salvation, apart from family, is not true salvation.
Don't bring people to Sunday meetings before bringing them to your home first. Let them see the glory of God through family.
Anyone can be a prophet.
Family is the recipe for glory (under God.) American churches think it's the individual. (OUCH)
Point: The glory of God comes by gift or body.
Eph 2:19 - you're the foundation of christ
The family will be strong in years to come. "I'd much rather be a father than a minister" - Tom
PRAY: "Make us and mold us into the family you want us to be."
I have to say some hard things because I don't want to loose you (like you would with your children, God must do this with us, his children)
The content of preaching is the Bible - not just ideas.
How you see family will eclipse your gift in ministry.
Whenever a gifted leader is around you, it's going to be SOMETHING (i.e., gang or Godly)
Big Wheels & Boards are not what churches are about. Father's serve families.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Fifth click is a charm
I had to click Post New Blog a million times to get to this screen. Sheesh.
The Fall Conference was awesome. Very mellow and family-like, which was surprisingly nice. No fancy hoops to jump through or being slain in the spirit (well, just one.) Felt homey. Not like homey G but home-like. I wish we could have church while drinking coffee at tables together like that. Maybe corporate prayer? I quite enjoyed Tom Bedford. It was the first time I really connected to his message and took two pages of notes. I couldn't put my pen down or absorb enough of what he was saying. Overall, a great, God-centered, family-buidling time was had.
I APPRECIATE YOU. Yes, you, the reader. Whoever you are, I love you. I love being connected to you and sharing this earth and breathing this fresh, crisp air with you. I am so thankful for every day I wake and every person I encounter. Wasting time complaining, which I too often do, is just that...a WASTE. Let's appreciate the little things, the big things, the people we connect to and even those we do not. It's what God would want and what Jesus would do.
Life is good. I'm glad I have such a wonderful family.
The Fall Conference was awesome. Very mellow and family-like, which was surprisingly nice. No fancy hoops to jump through or being slain in the spirit (well, just one.) Felt homey. Not like homey G but home-like. I wish we could have church while drinking coffee at tables together like that. Maybe corporate prayer? I quite enjoyed Tom Bedford. It was the first time I really connected to his message and took two pages of notes. I couldn't put my pen down or absorb enough of what he was saying. Overall, a great, God-centered, family-buidling time was had.
I APPRECIATE YOU. Yes, you, the reader. Whoever you are, I love you. I love being connected to you and sharing this earth and breathing this fresh, crisp air with you. I am so thankful for every day I wake and every person I encounter. Wasting time complaining, which I too often do, is just that...a WASTE. Let's appreciate the little things, the big things, the people we connect to and even those we do not. It's what God would want and what Jesus would do.
Life is good. I'm glad I have such a wonderful family.
Friday, August 29, 2008
A song, to express myself...
Thankful by Jonny Lang
Someones standing in a welfare line
Or off the freeway with a hungry sign
Someones stressing bout to lose their mind
I gotta be thankful, thankful
Someone just became a single mother
Someone just lost a sister or brother
Its so important that we love each other
And be Thankful, thankful
Ive gotta take the time to say, that
Im Thankful, thankful
For every single breath that I take
Ive gotta be thankful, thankful
Someones sitting in a prison cell
Wasting away in their own personal hell
Everybodys got their own story to tell
Ive gotta be thankful, thankful Man,
I used to think I didnt have a lot
Now I realize just how much Ive got
Now every day Im gonna take the time and stop to be....
Ive gotta take the time to say, that
Im Thankful, thankful
For every single breath that I take
Ive gotta be thankful, thankful
Any one of these so easily could have been me
But if it had not been for grace and mercy who knows where Id be
Ive been riding on this roller coaster ride
Round and round Ive seen the up and downside
And Im here to tell you that the secret of life is being...
Ive gotta take the time to say, that
Im Thankful, thankful
For every single breath that I take
Ive gotta be thankful, thankful
Someones standing in a welfare line
Or off the freeway with a hungry sign
Someones stressing bout to lose their mind
I gotta be thankful, thankful
Someone just became a single mother
Someone just lost a sister or brother
Its so important that we love each other
And be Thankful, thankful
Ive gotta take the time to say, that
Im Thankful, thankful
For every single breath that I take
Ive gotta be thankful, thankful
Someones sitting in a prison cell
Wasting away in their own personal hell
Everybodys got their own story to tell
Ive gotta be thankful, thankful Man,
I used to think I didnt have a lot
Now I realize just how much Ive got
Now every day Im gonna take the time and stop to be....
Ive gotta take the time to say, that
Im Thankful, thankful
For every single breath that I take
Ive gotta be thankful, thankful
Any one of these so easily could have been me
But if it had not been for grace and mercy who knows where Id be
Ive been riding on this roller coaster ride
Round and round Ive seen the up and downside
And Im here to tell you that the secret of life is being...
Ive gotta take the time to say, that
Im Thankful, thankful
For every single breath that I take
Ive gotta be thankful, thankful
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Happiness...Is This
It seems I only blog when things are bothering me or when I'm down.
Not every Sunday is a bad one, it is actually more rare to have a bad Sunday than a great Sunday. Last night at prayer Ryan mentioned not taking the kingdom's gifts for granted. Sunday's are the BEST days: we get to worship, pray, be in the presence of God more intensely, visit with God-loving friends and occassionally have lunch with a family or two. I mean why complain about that?! I love it.
Things that make me HAPPY...
Open doors/hearts
My Butler guys
Praying with others
Pop Dan's pasta and gravy
Interacting with different ages/sexes/personalities
REAL conversations (these are hard to come by)
Invites (these are VERY appreciated)
Grace of God
Those are just a few things that I am more than happy to have in my life.
Not every Sunday is a bad one, it is actually more rare to have a bad Sunday than a great Sunday. Last night at prayer Ryan mentioned not taking the kingdom's gifts for granted. Sunday's are the BEST days: we get to worship, pray, be in the presence of God more intensely, visit with God-loving friends and occassionally have lunch with a family or two. I mean why complain about that?! I love it.
Things that make me HAPPY...
Open doors/hearts
My Butler guys
Praying with others
Pop Dan's pasta and gravy
Interacting with different ages/sexes/personalities
REAL conversations (these are hard to come by)
Invites (these are VERY appreciated)
Grace of God
Those are just a few things that I am more than happy to have in my life.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Sunday Blues
I had another one of THOSE Sunday's yesterday.
Something inside of me takes over and the demonic take over. It's messed up and I feel I have zero control over it. It's beyond bad.
I went up and prayed for two sisters and it turned around that one of those girls prayed for me. Funny how insecurities can keep you from going up to an altar call. Funny? More like pathetic. Get over yourself Kerri! I should have been up there when they mentioned bitterness. I am the bitterness queen, sadly. Getting over stuff is hard work and as much as I pray to forgive I just can't get over some things. While some are way pety I still clutch onto them like a trendy Coach clutch...but uglier.
Something inside of me takes over and the demonic take over. It's messed up and I feel I have zero control over it. It's beyond bad.
I went up and prayed for two sisters and it turned around that one of those girls prayed for me. Funny how insecurities can keep you from going up to an altar call. Funny? More like pathetic. Get over yourself Kerri! I should have been up there when they mentioned bitterness. I am the bitterness queen, sadly. Getting over stuff is hard work and as much as I pray to forgive I just can't get over some things. While some are way pety I still clutch onto them like a trendy Coach clutch...but uglier.
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