I've put aside my indie rock and roll CD's for Christian radio. 90.7 KLOVE is programmed as my number one station. I have John, the boy who once shouted "why are we listening to church music, it's not Sunday", now singing "Kwoooooove." (He's working on his "L's" still.)
As a little reminder to myself of how far I've come I will re-post the photo of the "Jesus bird" (from 5/15/08) that would not let me go home the day I tried leaving church due to moodiness and sin.
Life is pretty awesome these days.
I have a great family, awesome friends, an adorable apartment, my dream car, and a fun job.
When life goes so well I tend to focus on the things that need improvement. I should soak up all the goodness and enjoy how great things are but I tend to focus on the less great areas that need attention. School, for instance, ties-in many aspects of my 'dark' areas of life. I am considering taking photography classes at MSSU. Either that or going in the total opposite direction and taking social work classes (just that'd be a stretch, as much as I'd love it.) I don't know just how passionate I am about photography. Wait, that's false. I adore taking photos. I don't love editing photos. Plus, with so many photographers around it's hard to compete - especially when I'm not a confident, skilled photographer. That's why classes would help.
I feel I am at such a stand-still right now. Like I have to make a decision about my future and not just go with the flow, even though it's a nice life flow. I want more. I want to be more. Target is a fine job but making lattes is not a career. It feels like a transitional job. Just yesterday my ninety-day review was written and it mentioned me moving up in the company. The excitement in knowing another has that much faith in my performance is rewarding. I just feel I've taken ten steps back in where I am currently working.
Can you say Ramble McRamble Queen? I sure do know how to ramble on and on. What I'm trying to say is I think it's time to look to the future and figure out where I want to go. I'll continue to ask God where he wants to take me. Until then, maybe you could say a little prayer for me.
For accountability purposes I am publicly stating that I am starting P90x (lean version) again today. I started last week and somehow took three days off so I am re-starting the intense program today. Please do ask me how it is going. I will try to touch base on how the workouts are and if they prove to be effective.
A special shout out/thanks to Ugo for the daily accountability text message!
My goal for 2010 is to send hand-written notes/letters to friends and family who live far away. There's nothing like receiving mail, especially from a dear friend. As mentioned in a previous blog, receiving mail is one of life's simple pleasures.
I'm off to a good start with two stamped and ready-to-be-mailed note cards.
For some reason even-numbered years appeal to me more than the odd years. 2010 will be a good year. I'll make it good by focusing on God first then everything else that distracts me. Happy New Year to all!
Back in March I wrote something in my 2009 planner about March's. I guess I should jot it down before I toss the old planner. Then I will recall all the cool little things I wrote in my planner throughout the year. My memory is not as sharp as it once was and this is like a little timeless vault of memories for me to go back to.
March 2004 - Blacked out from drinking too much alcohol. Went to the ER the next day and was hooked up to IV's for 2 hours.
March 2005 - Phil and I broke up due to jealousy and sinful ways. Moved back to Massachusetts.
March 2007 - I was baptised in the holy spirit. Best March of my life.
March 2009 - Was part of God's work in the wedding of a pastor's oldest daughter.
These may seem like silly little lines about March's over the years but it's part of my testimony. To see God shape my life so drastically over just six years is quite awesome. I am blessed.
End of 2008 and 2009 in review, according to my 16-month planner....
9/7/08 - Pop Dan spoke of his freedom from leukemia. God is a healer. Alter call to get filled with the holy spirit. This was a personal move closer to God for me.
9/3/08 - Started Zumba classes. Took a total of 4 classes.
9/21/08 - Tennyson - Words of encouragement move you forward. It's like a breath of fresh air in a smoke-filled room. (Hebrews 3:13) Ways to find encouragement: Scripture, Prayer time, Faith in God, and Through songs/music. "Work hard. Do a good job. Be a blessing." - Chris Sterrett said this to his kids every morning.
9/24/08 - "Home group 7pm - ROCKED!"
9/28/09 - Patti's housewarming party 6:30-8:30pm
10/9/08 - Started meeting with Obi for his school research project about families.
10/19/08 - Joe Noga: "To be salt we must touch the world, to be light we must reinforce the church."
10/22/08 - Notes from home group: "We don't have the excuse of ignorance. Everything - and I do mean EVERYTHING - connected with that old way of life has to go." - Scott Parish
Ask yourself "Is what I'm doing pleasing to God?"
11/3/08 - One year wedding anniversary.
11 & 12/08 - Poel practice! Practice! Practice!
12/27/08 - Jay Lotterer preached: "The condition of your life changes whether you're ready (for it to) or not." Micah and Sarah are back until the 23rd!
1/22-1/23/09 - BOSTON!
2/5/09 - Worst brain "ache" of my life 10:15pm
2/12-2/14/09 - Marriage conference in Branson.
2/22/09 - Scott Squires notes: If we're not aware of God and living for Him, we're not living. Always love God; God never meant for us to live compartmentalized lives. You'll drive yourself crazy if you try living for God AND in the your old ways.
6/11-6/16/09 - Jake and John went to Disney World with their grandparents
6/20/09 - First of three Worship in the Park's
6/22/09 - The Fire Work stand in Saginaw, MO opens! Let the moldy fun begin.
7/18/09 - Car Care
8/1/09 - Saw Wicked in Tulsa, OK for Patti's birthday. Great time!
8/23/09 - Scott Parish church notes:
The three V's of Forgiveness:
8/30/09 - Moved to Joplin, Missouri with the help of many friends. (Thanks again!)
9/6/09 - Scott Squires notes from church: "Blur the lines. There's no black and white in society - only in the Bible. It's a book of light and dark that are continually in opposition of one another." Be zealous NOT apathetic. We were made for this; to display the kingdom. Repentance is the doorway to every revival. The beginning of the end of every battle is an awakening.
9/13/09 - CHS Fundraiser meetings start at the Angeles'.
9/23-9/25/09 - Fall conference
10/17/09 - Kreighbaum/Sperry wedding. Micah was back to take photos!
10/30/09 - CHS Fall Festival. David Gray and Doug got slimmed!
11/8/09 - Doug's notes...
World view 2 questions: 1. What's the problem? 2. What can be done/solution?
World view answers: "isms" Capitalism, socialism, communism, secular humanism, fascism and globalism
11/3/09 - Second wedding anniversary!
12/6/09 - Doug's notes... Mother Theresa said "The worst disease in today's world is not leprosy or cancer: it is the feeling of being uncared for, unwanted, of being deserted and alone."
Hindrances to building the House of God:
1. Some don't want it.
2. Some say they want it but aren't willing to pay the price.
3. Some say they want it but feel no one else does and lose heart.
4. Some find it hard and give up.
5. Some find life too busy.
6. Some think it'll happen magically.
"If a man wants friends he must show himself friendly" - Proverbs 18:24
12/20/09 - Doug's notes... When it comes to evangelism our fears and past experiences work against us. Light shall shine out of darkness. Light exposes darkness. Jesus shines in our hearts. Testifying: it's hard to make a case without witnesses. We're called to testify. It's hard to object to what you've seen with your own eyes.