Our sidestepping has come to be a brilliant dance.

Who knew the title of my blog would also be a post title?


Le sigh.


I'm in a seasonal, can't-quite-grasp-why, want-to-cry-and-pull-my-hair-out, FUNK.

Super Psyched!

It's sixty-two degrees outside - 62!  I actually FEELS like Fall!  I am elated.  I cannot express just how much I am in love with the Autumn season.  I'd probably give a female child the middle name Autumn because I love it THAT much.  Ok, maybe I'd name a female animal Autumn instead.  Pumpkin Spice Lattes return to Starbucks tomorrow -- people LOVE those lattes!  I'm not the biggest fan but they just remind me of Fall in a cup topped with whipped cream.

What do you love about Autumn?

Apology

Dear blog,


I will return to you again, sooner than later.  I am too busy enjoying the sunshine.

Sincerely, 
Kerri 

Boys...

Looking around at the light saber, Lego pieces, and toys left throughout the house I get very emotional.  Jake and John were just picked up, heading to Silver Dollar City with their mom, and will not be back for three weeks. (They won't be at Silver Dollar City for three weeks.  I am going to Boston for 8 days and work for six days prior.)  My heart breaks at how much I already miss them.  It's only been five minutes since they left.  I have never loved another person the way I love those boys.  They consume my being in everything I do - from my work schedule to my every thought.  

Sigh. Being apart is rough.

Success!

This morning I weighed myself and achieved a major weight loss goal: FORTY pounds down!
I actually teared up while standing on the scale.  On March 3 (just 16 weeks ago) I weighed forty pounds more than I do now.  Last night I picked up a 40 lb. bag of corn and was shocked at just how much it weighed.  I put it on my shoulders and walked around with it for just a minute and was so ready to put that sack down.  I feel worlds better now - both physically and in confidence.  Every ten pounds lost from here on will be a milestone.  I will reward myself with little things like a new shirt or pair of pants.  This Friday I am getting a pedicure as my weight loss reward.  Ideally, I'd like to lose another 35 pounds and then try to maintain that weight loss.

Thank you so much for all the encouragement.  I appreciate it greatly and love the added push.

Healthier,
Kerri

Killers again and a photo

Last I posted a blog I used a Killers song as the blog title.  That very song is playing right now.  CRAZY.
I did pray that God would give me the willpower and motivation to lose weight and He certainly did.  "On my knees, looking for the answer..." - The Killers  They sort of go hand-in-hand.  Sort of.

This was taken today...

"On my knees looking for the answers...are we human, or are we dancers?"

Ah, I sure do LOVE The Killers.

I think I should post a before and after photo of my weight loss progress but I am horrified by my "before" shot. Everyone I show says I did NOT look like that before...but the proof is in the photo, right?  Here goes nothing...

In this photo I had lost 33 pounds.

As of today I am down 37.6 pounds.  Just 2.6 pounds away from shedding FORTY pounds!  This is very exciting for me.  I'll have to post more photos soon.   

Prayer Warrior

I actually enjoying praying...in my head.  I am not a fan of praying aloud, especially for others.  It's SO hard for me.  This weekend I was approached by a very dear friend and nudged to start praying for others aloud.  This will take lots of (internal) prayer on my part.  Your prayers are appreciated too.

Times are a changing

So much has happened in the last two weeks, never mind the last time I blogged.  Let's go back, for starters, ten years.  Ten  years ago yesterday I graduated from high school.  Wow, just wow! To think of how different I am now than ten years ago is almost shocking yet awesome.  I'm not talking physically different though I certainly have filled out some since good old "Cooley High."

June 1, 2001

That seems like a lifetime ago.  I guess you could say it was since I've transformed greatly since 2001. I have traded in my summer camp counseling jobs for full-time desk jobs, experienced real heartache, done some real growing-up and living, and in 2006 found a real, amazing love for Jesus.  Life is pretty stinking good.

                                                                     ________________

Almost two weeks ago, on May 22, 2011, devastation struck as a tornado whipped through Joplin, Missouri destroying well over 30% of the city.  People lost their cars, homes, jobs, and some their lives.  In the midst of this horrific disaster people came together and grew strong.  It is a truly remarkable thing to see such hope in the middle of so much rubble.  It will take months and years for Joplin to physically rebuild again but the hearts of so many are stronger than ever and more thankful than ever.  I am so blessed to not have been affected much by the tornado.  I am so grateful my family, friends, home, and workplace were untouched.  I see now with fresh eyes and realize how important people, not things, are to me.  

                                                             ______________________

This weekend I am going to Omaha, Nebraska for the Interchange Conference where I am expecting great things from God.  I am so eager to hear from Him and spend the weekend in His presence.  I will be surrounded by great friends and inspiration.  I will continue to pray for a changed self who loves Him and wants to walk with Him even more.  I will also keep Joplin in my prayers and those volunteers who are sacrificing so much of themselves for this grateful city.  My heart is heavy but also hopeful.

Accomplishment

SUCCESS! I'd just like to boast for a moment about an accomplishment...

I am 30 pounds lighter!


It's a good day.  A very good day.

Rambling about teeth and such.

Hello Spring. Nope, hey Summer!  Got to love wacky Midwest weather.  I've learned no matter where one lives they'll ALWAYS complain about the weather.  It's a conversation starter, ice breaker, and something everyone can talk about.  Today is cloudy with a chance of potentially awesome moments ahead.

How are you?  I am fantastic!  I swear I have A.D.D when it comes to writing and keeping focus long enough to stay on one subject.  I feel like I'm writing to myself so who cares if I'm all over the place, right?  Right.

The 2010-2011 school years are coming to an end.  Covenant Harvest School ends tomorrow.  Joplin schools end June 3rd.  Seems like that school year whizzed on bye.  I am looking forward to taking a last-day-of-school photo of the boys in the same spot I snapped their first-day-of-school photo.  Those boys have grown like weeds this school year and I'm curious to see photographic proof.

John is in the process of losing his second front tooth.  Sadly he isn't going through that toothless phase--which is adorable!--since his big teeth are already growing in behind the baby teeth.  It'll be good to see him with a tooth-filled mouth.  Poor kid has been a few teeth shy of a full mouth of teeth since he was three.  Due to all the medicine he was on and acid reflux his teeth were bad.  He is OBSESSED with keeping his teeth white and clean.  It's actually comical when he asks "Kerri, these cookies don't have sugar in them...do they?"  I have to laugh and say "Actually, they do."  He almost stopped eating them because he's convinced they'll rot his "grown up teeth."  He always wants to be bigger than Jake and since he isn't he says "I will  have better teeth than Jake.  Mine are whiter right?  Jake's are yellow."  Oh boys and competition.  John does have whiter teeth now.  But we'll keep that between us.

I am looking forward to summer and it's potential for memory-making moments.  I am planning on going back to Boston (solo) for a whole week in July.  That will be a nice getaway.  The beach is one of my absolute favorite places in all of God's creation.  So relaxing, breath-taking, and serene.  Did I mention I'm going alone?  Alone and relaxing go hand-in-hand.  I will miss Phil and the boys.  I hate being away for more than four days or I get really homesick.  I am rambling.

Today: brush your teeth so they're whiter than John's and do something kind for yourself and another.

Turkey Meatballs, yum!

I am cooking at home these days and for those who know me, well, you know I am not so great in the kitchen.  "I've got to admit it's getting better...A little better all the time" - The Beatles  

I recently made what could be the most simple recipe ever of turkey meatballs.  They were FANTASTIC, and not just according to me - Phil, Jake, and John ate all 18 meatballs in one sitting.  I was shocked.  I made them again a week later and all but 5 were left between Phil and myself.  That means Phil ate 10 meatballs himself!

Here's the super simple recipe:

Ingredients:

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 package ground turkey

1 egg, beaten

1/3 cup Italian seasoned breadcrumbs

1 teaspoon black pepper

1 teaspoon of oregano, garlic powder, and Italian seasoning

Preheat oven to 350

Coat 9x13 dish with 2 tbsp. olive oil and place in oven. 

In large bowl combine beaten egg, Italian seasoned breadcrumbs, turkey, and seasonings.  Mix well by hand until ingredients are mixed completely together.  Roll into balls and place into preheated baking dish.  Push down so bottom of meatballs are flat.   Bake for 15 minutes then flip meatballs.  Bake for five more minutes. Makes 18 meatballs.

Voila!  They're delicious.  I didn't have pasta with mine, just sauce (or gravy) and they were scrumptious.

A months' time

On March 3, 2011 I started working out and started a fairly strict low-carbohydrate diet.  I hit the gym four-to-five times a week.  I eat enough salad to keep even the oldest of ladies regular (sorry, that was gross.) I am making a conscious lifestyle change.  I feel stronger.  I lose my breath less quickly.  I've lost 3.5 inches from my waist!  And...wait for it...19 lbs!!!  I am writing this to remain accountable to myself.

Growing up...growing apart

I never thought I would be in a situation where a friend and I break up...until recently.
One of my longest friendship is, painstakingly, coming to a bitter end.  OK, that's a bit dramatic but it really does hurt something fierce.  It feels like I got dumped...which is a horrific feeling.  Rejection is brutal, especially coming from someone who was the closest person in your life for a decade.
I noticed my friend was growing more and more distant over the past few weeks, months, perhaps years.  I, too, am a changed person and was not consciously distancing myself but it appears I wasn't exactly moving towards a stronger, more connected friendship either.  We met in the eight grade; we were kids then.  We became "best friends" in the ninth grade.  We purposely took the same classes in high school so we'd be in them together.  We went to the same college and skipped the same classes.  We bought the same brands of  shoes/jeans/clothing, etc. We learned how to drive and got cars the same year.  We were inseparable.  We were like sisters.  She met a guy.  I moved to the Midwest.  She visited me twice.  She moved to Florida then back to Massachusetts.  I never visited her in the four or so years she was in Florida.  Phone calls were less and less often made.  Texts started to decrease as well.  We'd Facebook message each other here and there and send Christmas and birthday cards. We just...grew apart. It was obvious we weren't the same best friends we once were but I guess holding onto what we had was worth the strain to me.
Then I asked her if she was purposely pushing away and she said yes.  I think bitterness, resentment, and the fact that we're totally different people who lives so far apart caused a rift.  It's only been a week or so but I am at a loss.  I guess you must let go sometime.
I'm sure we'll reconnect in time.

Seasons Greetings

Recently I heard a friend ask "If you compared your life to a season which would you be right now?"  That is an excellent question.  I tucked it away and gave it little thought, until now. 

I am certainly not muggy, warm, sticky, sunny, unbearable summer.  Well, I am warm and sunny most days.  

As much as I love fall I don't feel like I am dying like the leaves, thankfully.  There are times in life when I do feel dried up, crunchy, and like I'm being trampled over like autumn leaves.  Then again, those leaves are so breathtakingly beautiful and picturesque.  At any rate, I'm not felling very fall-like right now.

With it being winter and all you'd think that's where I am in this season of life.  Though I'm not in a "winter stage" of cold, dark, and dreary hibernation.  I was there a few weeks ago for a few weeks, perhaps months.  I felt so blah and sluggish.  

These days I am feeling exceptionally spring-like.  I am starting to feel fresh, alive, like things are blossoming and blooming before me.  That God has great things in store for my near future.  That I just have to walk the path He lays before me and things will be much more breezy and fresh.  I am hopeful.  I am eager.  

Embracing Baby Carrots

I am not a fan of change.

When I was fifteen I lived in a group home in Lynn, Massachusetts just across the street from Lynn Commons. (Distracting thought: why aren't there "commons" in the four states area?  You know, an oval shaped area of grass, a paved sidewalk, benches, and a gazebo usually in the middle of heavily-trafficked streets?)  The group home was in a huge Victorian house with four bathrooms and five bedrooms.  It was a beautiful house, maybe the nicest on the street, but everyone knew the house was a group home even without it being labeled on the outside.  People just knew.  I wish I just knew things sometimes.  I am rarely ever thankful about being blindsided, unless of course there is some type of surprise party planned - which is nearly impossible with me.  Wow I am really all over the place today.  Focus Kerri, focus!
Back to the lovely group home.  There were five of us teenagers that lived there at the time and every one of us had a goal of sorts.  I felt like everyone in the house, with the exception of myself, had real goals whereas my goals were just silly.  A few examples of others' goals were to take their medications (which I wasn't on), shower daily and have better hygiene (which I always did/do), control their anger, go to school and get good grades (I was on the honor roll then), don't do drugs (didn't), stay out of trouble, etc.

I had two goals:
1. Eat.  Yes, eat food.  That is something I have always struggled with.  Then, I never ate enough food if any.  Now I eat terrible things and too much of them.
2. Embrace change.  Ha!  Seriously.  Accept and embrace change was my goal.  Other kids were doing drugs, getting in fights, hitting staff, and skipped school almost every day and I had to eat food and embrace change.

Thirteen years later those could still be considered goals of mine.  1. Eat less.  2. Embrace and accept what God has in store for me.  I am praying to be stretched, to be taken out of my comfort zone, and used for His will and purpose.  Here's to stepping out in faith.  And snacking on baby carrots more.

Winter Wonderland

It's beginning to look a lot like New England outside.  Frosted window panes...oh wait, this isn't Christmas though it sure feels like it.  It is one degree outside.  One degree.  Missouri is in a state of emergency due to road conditions that the state just doesn't deal with enough to properly clear it fast enough.
Today is Groundhog Day and as tradition goes Punxsutawney Phil emerges at sunrise and we determine winters length based on Phil seeing his shadow or not. Phil did NOT see his shadow today, therefore Spring will shortly be upon us.  It's hard to imagine blooming flowers, green grass, and Spring showers with so much snow on the ground and single-digit temps.  Most people are wishing Winter away while I am elated that I have a snow day; my workplace is closed!  Yesterday was a pleasant surprise as I was off work and Phil's work was closed due to weather.  We stayed home all day and did little of note.  It was simply lovely getting to hang in together.  Summer is awesome but when do you get a day off work because it's too hot outside?  Rarely.   I am enjoying Winter while it's here - you should too!  Stay safe and warm.

First Snow Day of 2011

First snow day of this winter

Posing for the camera

John hit Jake in the face with this shot

Revenge is sweet

Face shot!

John running for his life

Preparing an awesome snowball 

Throwing a snowball at me.  Thankfully he missed though I snapped a great shot.

They had a blast.  I even let them play in the snow BEFORE doing their homework.  Happy Winter everyone!

Not a good start to 2011

I have been sick the whole year so far.  Nine days.  This is brutal.
I was praying for a healthy 2011.  It's only nine days in, let's hope the remaining 356 are healthier.